you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
