There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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