oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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