my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
