if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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