i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
