im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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