he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
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