i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
