I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
