nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm bleeding and have questions
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
