You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
