i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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