but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
