I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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