i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
