Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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