Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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