White coat. Heels.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize