dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Walk of Shame today included voting.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
