it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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