Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
