he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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