Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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