people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
