we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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