The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
