My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
