To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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