I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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