A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
