i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
