I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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