Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
