KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
