He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
