Are we in a gay sports bar?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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