your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We had sex on a dog bed..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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