Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
