There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
