I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
