I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
