I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
