so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Too much gin, very little bucket
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We need to get me chipped asap
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
