I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
