i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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