I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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