She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
