dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
