I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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