Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
