Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
