He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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